Are we dating: what’s your relationship status?
Are you stuck in that awkward no man’s land in your relationship status – not sure where you stand between Facebook official and it’s complicated? Dating has become an ever more complex playground. Trying to navigate which loaded emoji to choose, staying updated with an endless list of lingo and keeping your cool online are just some of the obstacles to navigate. To top it off, defining your relationship status is no longer a cut and dry matter.
It seems that officially asking someone to be your boyfriend or girlfriend is rather outdated. Nowadays a more organic form of dating has emerged. But this can you leave you scratching your head wondering ‘when do you define exclusive?’ and how to ask ‘are we dating?’
Ladies, this can be especially difficult to decipher. You want to know ‘are we dating or just hooking up?’ but, at the same time, still hanker towards a little wooing and pursuing. This can stop you short of asking ‘what are we’? but you still need to know! To guide you through this minefield relatively unscathed, we break down 7 obvious signals that you are moving from casual to committed.
The signals to look out for: are we dating or just hanging out?
1. It’s an everyday kind of thing: a telltale sign of moving toward a more committed relationship is consistent communication. If you’re calling each other by nicknames you’re moving into pretty solid territory. When you start to chat on a regular asis, it’s more than just a fling, and has started to become a thing.
He’s your date, not your mate: waking up to a good morning text message Hell no, it’s a hang out alert: drops you a line at 8pm on a Saturday night to see if you’re free
2. You’re out and about together: if you’re actually engaging in activities together and your interactions extend beyond a booty call to actually watching Netflix, it screams boyfriend, not dead end. ‘It’s complicated’ is probably closer to the truth if you spend your time shacked up under the cover of night.
He’s your date, not your mate: holding hands and eating dinner at the new popular pizza place Hell no, it’s a hang out alert: he’s happy to be housebound with you, every time and all the time
3. You’ve met the squad: once he starts to introduce you to his friends, you’ve made the cut. And if you’ve been introduced to the family, that’s another step up. When you start integrating into each other’s social circles it is a solid sign – he’s your bae, don’t call it a day.
He’s your date, not your mate: you’ve hung out with his buddies and might even know his mom’s name Hell no, it’s a hang out alert: you’re kept singled out and separate from the rest of his life
4. TMI is a good sign: when it comes to men, less is not more. When your crush speaks about real and active issues and goingons in his life, it’s the real deal. As you start to regularly share the daily details, call him your man, not just a flash in the pan.
He’s your date, not your mate: he tells you what happened at lunch time, and asks how your day was Hell no, it’s a hang out alert: you don’t even know what he does at work
5. On his best behaviour: the way a man treats you is a loud and clear message of his intentions. Does he open the door for you or maybe insist on paying for drinks? When he is more gentleman then playboy, he sees you as a potential partner, not only a good time girl. If he can’t treat you like lady, he’s probably a little shady.
He’s your date, not your mate: he bought you flowers Hell no, it’s a hang out alert: he is begrudging about you using his shower
6. You’re the only one on the radar: a classic sign of moving from a casual hook up to more than just friends is when you become the only girl’s number he texts on his mobile. How do you know? He doesn’t pretend to be busy on Friday night, and if he feels like another guy is hitting you, you may even see a bright flare of jealously. If he has a sidechick, don’t be love sick.
He’s your date, not your mate: he’s not scared to say he likes seeing you Hell no, it’s a hang out alert: he still has an active online dating profile
7. The future isn’t far off: he doesn’t just call to see if you free on a Friday night more than a few days in advance, he also starts to bring up possible future events or plans. He considers your commitments and looks at how your schedules can coincide. If he sticks to last minute meet ups, it’s time to hang your hook up out to dry.
He’s your date, not your mate: he speaks about going to festivals or events together in a few months time Hell no, it’s a hang out alert: he doesn’t like to bring up breakfast tomorrow morning
Still confused if he is a bf or a fwb - how to ask ‘are we dating?’
If you’re still not sure where you stand and are trying to figure out if you’re officially dating or not, then maybe it’s time to ask outright. If you’re happy with where you’re at, let it be. But if you can’t read him and are feeling frustrated, here’s how to ask ‘are we dating?’
1. Don’t say we need to talk: that phrase alone produces instant shock and horror. It’s like raising a red flag to the male mind, instead take a less confrontational route.
2. Be cool: keep it causal and don’t hype up the conversation. Just casually ask him using low pressure phrases like “I was wondering how to introduce you at the party tonight?”. Or use humour to deflect stress, “Is this a thing now?” in a teasing way is disarming and charming.
3. Ask it face-to-face: sending those kinds of messages via text is a quick way to be misunderstood and have your intentions misinterpreted. In person, you can read the body language and respond appropriately. It cuts out the biggest chance of getting lost in translation.
Don’t’ get stuck simply by not knowing which way you are going. The ball is in your court – decide what you want, keep your eyes on the prize and play to win!
Need to know more: 5 First date tips