Beware the emoji: the smilies ruining your love life
We’ve all been there. Overexcited when texting a potential new girl/boyfriend and getting a bit too keen on the emoji front. We’re not trying to make you nervous, but your choice of emoji can pretty much make or break your possible new hook up/date/relationship/marriage proposal. So before your thumbs get ahead of themselves, Attractive World’s got the insight help you go from being screenshotted and sent to the whole squad to having your name actually saved in the phone book (#goals).
Can't see any emojis? Click on the titles to view them over on emojipedia.org.
Okay let’s start with the obvious. Let’s be frank. The eggplant (aubergine) emoji is rarely used to express one’s love of vegetables. If you’re sending this, you’re either trolling for dick pics or asking your mum for a veggie lasagne recipe. We see you.
While we’re on the topic of food, beware the peach. Although it’s been updated to look only slightly more fruit-like (after the original update was met with mass protest), the true meaning has remained. Ladies, if he sends you that, his mind is firmly on one thing; particularly when paired with the “fire” emoji.
This emoji needs to calm itself. Either wink or stick your tongue out. It’s never appropriate to do both. And if you give it a go, it definitely seems your trying too hard. Just think. Would you ever actually make this face IRL?
Are we the only ones who see it as passive aggressive and/or seedy? Let us as you this: how often do you wink at people in the flesh? How often does it actually have the desired effect? We thought as much. If you’re sending this to someone you’ve never actually met before, at least wait until you’ve exchanged a message or two – no opening line winking faces please, boys.
Another one to avoid in an opening message, unless you’re going straight in for the proposal. Would you send the rose and/or engagement ring? No – it’s too soon. Once the conversation’s in full flow, you’ve met up a few times, it’s all going well, then you can drop the heart kiss. But avoid the cat alternative.
Talking of creepy – did you even know this is supposed to be a hug? If you receive this, your date is either really into jazz hands or is creepy. Trust us, it doesn’t make anyone want a hug.
Think you’re being cute and cheeky? You’re not! Even emojipedia.org - the emoji oracle - urges you to “use with caution”. Take note!
Now, depending on your device, the little purple devil can actually appear like a red-faced demon. So, make sure you’re thinking about the fact your date might not have an iPhone! That being said, a message that’s meant to seem playful and suggestive can turn dark and demonic. Not a good start!
Experiencing overuse of the fist bump (or hilariously nicknamed “brofist”)? You’re dating a bro. Get out while you can.
Guys, be aware, if a girl sends you this, drama’s on its way. Yes, you’re getting the side eye. And shade is on its way. Do not anger her.
F-boy alert. Yes ladies, I hate to break it to you but nine times out of 10 if you get this one, he’s after one thing. Chances are with this one, you’ll get a particularly smarmy opening line to accompany it. Bye Felipe.
An emoji list isn’t an emoji list without the all-time favourite poo. While it may have made its big screen debut, it’s not necessarily the most romantic of icons to send a potential date. Post-date, however, it’s definitely a great way to express your lack of interest in a follow up.